‘I won’t change my wedding for you’: Two Sisters Coincidentally Plan Separate Weddings Only Days Apart, One Sister Demands the Other Change Hers, Resulting in Family Dispute

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 6, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Hey there, internet gals. For a lot of women, wedding planning is something that takes place in our fantasies, from the time we're children, and without even having a partner. It's something thought out, well-planned, and executed to our highest expectations. This long and drawn-out process creates tension if we don't think it's going to go to plan. 

In this dramatic story, it involves two sisters, two cultures, two religions, and two sides of the same coin. The sisters happen to have planned their wedding only a few days apart. Here's the issue: they come from a mixed cultural background, with one parent being Hindu and the other being Christian. One daughter wants a traditional Hindu wedding, lasting days with a lavish and garish celebration, while the other wants a traditional Christian wedding, which is only one day of festivities. The one having the Christian wedding fears her day will be overshadowed by the extravagance of the Hindu celebration. Who will win in the end?

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 20 hr. ago Friendly-Engineer567 AITA for Telling My Sister That I Won't Change My Wedding?
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 02
    AITA for Telling My Sister That I Won't Change My Wedding? I (27F) am getting married to my fiancé, Raj (29M), in a couple of months. We are having a traditional, lavish Indian wedding, which has been a dream of mine since childhood. I grew up in a mixed household; my father is Hindu and my mother is
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 03
    Christian. While we celebrated both religions growing up, I've always felt more connected to my father's Hindu traditions.
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 04
    My sister, Sarah (25F), is also getting married around the same time. She identifies more with our mother's Christian faith and is planning a traditional Christian wedding. Recently, Sarah approached me, expressing concerns that our weddings being close together might overshadow hers, especially since mine is more extravagant and
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 05
    involves multiple days of celebration. Sarah asked if I could either tone down my wedding, consider postponing it, or even make it a fully Christian ceremony to balance things out. She believes that having two weddings so close together, with one being significantly grander, would take
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 06
    attention away from hers and create unnecessary stress for our family, who will have to juggle both events.
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 07
    I told her that I understand her concerns, but I've been planning this wedding for over a year, and it means a lot to me to have it the way I've always imagined. I also pointed out that our cultural backgrounds are different, and both weddings will be special in their own ways. Additionally, postponing my wedding would be a huge inconvenience and
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 08
    financial burden for us, given the extensive preparations and bookings already in place.
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 09
    Our wedding dates are three weeks apart. We have separate guest lists, but there is some overlap with close family and mutual friends. My mother is siding with Sarah and believes | should change my wedding to a fully Christian ceremony or at least incorporate significant Christian elements. My father, on the other hand, supports my
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 10
    decision and believes that both of us should have the weddings we want. Sarah was very upset and accused me of being selfish and not caring about her feelings. She thinks I'm prioritizing my wedding over our family's well- being. My mother has started going overboard, constantly
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 11
    criticizing my decision and even threatening not to attend my wedding unless I change it to a Christian ceremony. She's been calling extended family members to persuade them to side with Sarah and boycott my wedding if I don't comply.
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 12
    My father supports my decision and believes that both of us should have the weddings we want. He has been trying to mediate, but the situation is getting more tense by the day. Sarah and I have always had a complicated relationship, and while we support each other, there's often been tension due to
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 13
    our different personalities and choices. Now, I'm feeling torn. I don't want to hurt my sister or cause any family rift, but I also don't want to sacrifice my dream wedding.
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 14
    Also im not in her bridal party or any other things but her wedding as i have mine Also i Inherited a lot from Great Grand Father as he Was hindu and he gave it to me as i was as well i gave my sister 40% of what he gave me and no one is helping with wedding costs
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 15
    AITA for telling my sister that I won't change my wedding? Edit: A lot of people have asked who has scheduled their wedding 1st, And I have to say it was me. When I was proposed to I asked all my family when they would be available and chose my wedding date then that took around a 3-4 weeks during that time my sister
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 16
    and her boyfriend were having a fight and weren't talking but I don't know why, but once he proposed my sister asked that we have our wedding on the same day same venue and I have Christian wedding like her I declined and she decided to go cry to our mum but my dad wouldn't take any of my moms
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 17
    . She ended up choosing a date 3 weeks later. Update: So I went to try and and talk to my sister but she didnt let me in unless i told her i would have a christian ceremony, i declined and left. My mum called me later on tellimg me i am a for ruining my sister big day. Honestly i would havve
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 18
    had my wedding months ago but when a preist checked mine and my Fiance's Horiscope we didnt. have a date untill a year later. I have talked to all my vendors and though they dont do password procection they agreed to it, later on i found out my mum wanted to change my bridal lehenga and my party decor luckly they didnt let her. Also my Wedding has all
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 19
    of our distant relatives as well as close family the wedding my side alone has 1734 people all together we have a guest list of 3600, my sister tried to get everyone but she didnt try and coordinate that much she just sent the invite and told people to spread the word. All my guests are being accomodated by me and my in-laws my inheritance
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 20
    included a huge castle mansion sort of thing which has 100 rooms (i know its large but it is really old) and the rest have been booked into resorts by me and my in-laws, My sister didnt offer this.
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 21
    A few people think this is fake and for some context i created a account after the drama
    via u/Friendly-Engineer567
  • 22
    Danube_Kitty • 19h ago INFO: Who's wedding was set first? Whoever set a second wedding in such a close date other wedding was incosiderate, especially if the date has no specific meaning.
    via u/Danube_Kitty
  • 23
    But for sure...what is wrong with your mom? You want a hindu wedding. Changing it to christian wedding would make it everything but not your wedding. You probably haven't even thought your sister could change her wedding into hindu one and surely hasn't your mother.
    via u/Danube_Kitty
  • 24
    She is completely disrespectful to you and.your beliefs.
    via u/Danube_Kitty
  • 25
    YouSayWotNow •19h ago Whichever of you booked your wedding date second is definitely a bit of an for booking it in month as the same their sister.
    via u/YouSayWotNow
  • 26
    That aside, given that the dates were done and decided a long time ago, no you absolutely shouldn't have to either tone down your wedding or change it to a Christian one to meet your sister or mother's unreasonable demands.
    via u/YouSayWotNow

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